Episode 040 (Chivalry After Hours) - "The Unnested Era"

Leti joins Jaime to discuss living their unnested era.

• Empty Nest defined.
• Empty Nest Syndrome
• Downsides
• Upsides
• "Lipstick" Effect

Verdict.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:15

If by some chance, some stroke of luck, or some act of God, you have stumbled upon this broadcast, you are listening to the Chivalry Chronicles with your host, Dr. DLH.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

I'm a damn doctor.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

David's to not drink during the podcast. Yeah. And me, Jaime. They need to make uh podcast equipment a lot more expensive to get some of these clowns off the air. Gather around as we discussed a modern manly approach to chivalry. So I hope you're ready, because I know we are. So let's get into it. Ooh, that sounded good. And we're back. Doing a little bit of what is it called? Chivalry after dark. It's almost been a year we've been doing it, but Gino. But today we have a special guest, and it's my lovely wife, Leticia Noriega.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

Hey everybody.

SPEAKER_00 1:25

Hey, where's our crowd? There's there's our crowd again. They came back.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

I'm so glad they're back. Oh yeah. They missed me.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Yeah. You know how it is, like when you're when you used to be a teacher and they all clap when you come back on after break and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

Yeah, or when they had a sub and they really didn't like the sub, and then I came back, and then it was like, oh, where were you? Yeah. Appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

So how's it going?

SPEAKER_02 1:51

Good. It's Christmas time.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

Well, it's more like Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_02 1:56

It's Christmas time. Let's let's just be real. It's Christmas time.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

So explain to our audience when did Christmas time begin? In our house. In our house.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

November 1st.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

So we bypassed Dia de los Muertos. We bypass Thanksgiving. We bypassed Earth thing, Jesus.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

Okay. Well, that kind of leads a little bit into what we're going to talk about because we had we had we had Joaquin home.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

Okay. Our son.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

Yes. And so I needed the stuff brought down from the attic. And there's no excuse if you have somebody to help you. So he was here for Halloween.

SPEAKER_00 2:37

That's not why you did it though.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

What?

SPEAKER_00 2:40

We try to be very honest and truthful with our fans and our listeners. So let's get let's get to the brass tacks and why really did you do it?

SPEAKER_02 2:50

Because I love Christmas.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

No. What? What was the reason? Didn't you say that in that in Mexico? What was it? Do you remember?

SPEAKER_02 3:00

That you go straight from Halloween, right? Día de los muertos, into Christmas, because there is no Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Right.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

In Latin America.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

So you're like, let's go. We're Latin.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

We are. And Joaquin was home. So it it it fit.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

All right, but this week is Thanksgiving, though.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

It is.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

Thanksgiving. Okay. And anything recent here the past weekend? Anything new that that we did that you want to discuss? You want to give a a thumbs up? We don't want to give spoilers.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

You know, for oh wicked. Is that what you're referring to?

SPEAKER_00 3:44

Wicked for good? Wicked for good, yes.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

So no spoilers, but no, it was fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Really?

SPEAKER_02 3:51

Oh my gosh, it was better than I thought it was gonna be.

SPEAKER_00 3:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

I okay. I'm gonna say I feel like I feel like it was better than the first one.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

Oh, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

I know, I know it people aren't gonna like that, but I loved the story.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

Okay, but did you feel like the the songs were better in the first one? There was more bangers, as some would say.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

The the first one was lighter, right? So you you're introducing the characters, you've got Glinda, guh, Linda, and you gotta show you.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

Man, we need video.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

So now Glinda. She's going by Glinda.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

Glenda, okay.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

Because that's what makes her so nice.

SPEAKER_00 4:36

Because that's what makes me so nice. Yeah. So Ariana Grande.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

Ariana Grande was fantastic. But the second one, oh so but but is that gosh, it was just deeper.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

Is that more or less like recency bias, do you think? Because you just watched it. No, I watched the first one twice. But you just watched the one like the the so the one that just came out, you just watched it. Well, we just watched Saturday. Yeah. But is that recency bias? Like you're just coming off that high of watching it.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

No, no. So here's the thing. I didn't have any expectations for the second one. I was like, wow, how's it gonna live up to the first one? And the second one, oh yeah, wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

It was pretty good, I will admit. I mean, the first one was also good. I think when I watched it the second time, because the first time I missed it, why did you miss it? Because the Cowboys and the Commanders were playing, and it was the game that went haywire at the end.

SPEAKER_02 5:35

Where were you when we were all watching the movie in the theater?

SPEAKER_00 5:38

I was in the lobby.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 5:41

At the bar. Shout out to Alamo Draft House. Anytime they want to sponsor this podcast, you know, the bar, thumbs up.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

And then you came in about 45 minutes later, and then we're like, what the heck is this all about? This doesn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

That's whenever Turpin.

SPEAKER_02 5:58

Because you missed 45 minutes of the movie. Then when it was streaming on Disney, you popped in while I was watching it. You're like, oh, this is really good. Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

Well, so whenever we when we started dating, right? And there was the general rule. Look, when the Cowboys are playing, I have to watch the game. I have to watch it. That's just the way it is. Like we I'll do whatever after football season, whatever. We can go pick grapes and you know we picked grapes.

SPEAKER_01 6:34

Goat yoga.

SPEAKER_00 6:37

We can we can go to goat yoga. We've never done it. No, go to farmers market and go to green for no reason whatsoever and walk along the river and you know, do all that. I'm cool with it. I said, hey, this is what we signed up for.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

But football season, you gotta you gotta just so you missed the first 45 minutes of the movie. Correct. And you felt like it made no sense when you walked in, which is a shocker, right? Because you missed the whole beginning. So you didn't give it its due justice, the first one, until you watched it in its entirety.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

Correct.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

And then your opinion was really good.

SPEAKER_00 7:21

Like I'm we've talked about it on the on the podcast before. I'd never watched we as a family. So when Greece came out, right, we used to watch it as as kids, but I didn't really know, you know, that everybody sings and shit. But you know, when you're just kind of like 12, 13, 14, 15, and you're watching it, you're like, you don't I mean, I never I never said that's a musical, you know. I was just like, it's a movie where they're singing and shit. It wasn't like a thing, right? To me. And so I never really watched musicals other than that one. And I've I had seen that one as a kid. So whenever we started dating and then got married and all that stuff, that's when I started watching all of them with you. So, you know, all the kids' movies that are musicals, Hamilton, and then all these movies, right? Yeah, and so I mean it's a good story. My my question, and I know I kind of annoyed you with my questions, endless questions about it, is like, how does this how does this you know, how does this connect with the Wizard of Oz?

SPEAKER_02 8:26

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

And who came up with this story? And you know, I I I have a bunch of you know, randomized questions about it. And you answered most of them. And actually, so we had a question during the movie, or you had a question, and I was like, no, absolutely, blah blah. We can't talk about it because I don't want to have spoilers. I mean, it you need to give people time to go watch it.

SPEAKER_01 8:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:51

But whenever I guess we need to do a podcast on the actual movie when it comes out on video, we'll need to re-watch it and then do a podcast because there's some things about it that I didn't know that I looked up because we were watching the movie, you had a question, I was like, Yeah, that's so-and-so, or because it had to do with the Wizard of Oz, right? Because they're intertwined. When we were watching it, we're like, why is this that, right? And I know it's not making any sense right now.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

It's so vague. They have no idea what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

I know, but like we need to talk about it because I found out, you know, why one of the characters anyway. Yeah, I can't. That's no spoilers. That's a discussion for another time. But it does, it's a good transition to what our topic is. So now that you know we have a little bit more time, right? Just you and I. Because Joaquin in the last episode, we were talking about hey, you're gonna go off to college. Our daughter, of course, already graduated from college, she's working full-time and lives in you know, about two hours away from us. So we don't see her as much. We will get to see her this holiday, but and then with you know, Joaquin is home now. So, you know, this term has been thrown around for a long time, and you know, and they were kind of you know, people are like, hey, y'all are gonna become empty nesters and stuff like that. So, you know, just to define the term, you know, it's parents whose children have grown up and moved out of the home. It's really simple, right? It's basically when everybody leaves. Now, Joaquin hasn't really left because he's in college, but he's away for the most part.

SPEAKER_02 10:41

Right.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

There's a term when I was looking like kind of like facts and stats. You know, I'm a facts and stats guy. There's such a thing as called the empty nest syndrome.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

Yeah, I've heard of it.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

Yeah. What do you think it is?

SPEAKER_02 10:56

I don't know. Is it is it a sort of depression that people go into?

SPEAKER_00 10:59

Yes. What what I guess it there is some kind of depression, but there's also look a little bit like a yeah, we can we started going back downtown. I know.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

Did we have empty nester syndrome? I don't think we have because it Is that wrong that we didn't have empty nester syndrome?

SPEAKER_00 11:23

It says emptiness syndrome is a is a term for feelings of sadness, grief, loss of purpose that parents may experience when their children move out of the home. Loss of purpose. And I and I and I identify with, I get it, right? Like I was telling a coworker, I was like, you know, here at the house, this is not any kind of bragging, or it's just we have a two-story house. Yeah. Whatever, right? Get over it.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

But we never come upstairs.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

We never come upstairs.

SPEAKER_02 11:53

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 11:54

So I've been upstairs more since the kids are gone.

SPEAKER_02 11:59

Why?

SPEAKER_00 11:59

It's really weird.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

You're trying to get away from me?

unknown 12:02

Kinda.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

Well, one, well, this this office doesn't count. Office is upstairs. Right. You know, the Chevrolet Studios, aka my office upstairs. It is upstairs. But, you know, the kids area, you know, it's just we don't ever go. Like rarely up here. But I have found myself up here more. And I don't know if it's kind of like it's so quiet, you know, like you're used to just noise and stuff like that. So I I mean, all those are true. We're joking around, but those are true, but I don't think it's to the level of loss of purpose. No. Like it's more of hey, you know, it's it's just us now. What do you want to do? Like, do you want like we went downtown, we went to a bar. What was it?

SPEAKER_02 12:52

The The Esquire.

SPEAKER_00 12:54

The Esquire. Bar downtown San Antonio. Just because it's great, it's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

Amazing.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

Right? We went to uh, which was one of our other podcasts. We went to a stand-up comic show downtown.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

You know, we we found out Angela Johnson was in town on a Friday. You said, Hey, she's in town, let's go check it out. We went on a Sunday at four o'clock.

SPEAKER_02 13:16

And every time it was on Sunday morning.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

Oh, that's when you bought the tickets.

SPEAKER_02 13:21

Yeah. Well, no, I told you about it Sunday morning, and I said, Hey, she's in town. And you said, Oh, yeah. I said, Yeah, she's, you know, she's doing a show today at three. And you said, Oh, cool. I said, So I'm gonna buy tickets. And it was like 10 a.m.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:37

You said, Oh, okay. So we did. It was like three or five p.m., something it was early. Maybe it was maybe it was three. Yeah. Because we went down, saw the show, then went to La Mancion, which is a that's right. Where we stayed the night we got married.

SPEAKER_00 13:55

Correct.

SPEAKER_02 13:56

Because it was right across the street from the church where we married. Well, didn't we stay at the hotel? Yeah, yeah. We we stayed there the night we got married. It was right across the street from the church where we married, and so it was a nice little nostalgic trip.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

So, and and we can look at we can talk about coping strategies, what the list that I that I found about coping strategies. But let's get let's get back to like what has changed for you being an empty nester. Cause because I'll tell you, somebody asked me, like, what's oh, Joaquin's gone. Man, that must have really kind of changed, flipped your world. And they kind of did, because Joaquin and I would work out during the week. Right. And so we would have that hour, hour and a half where it's just he and I working out talking. And so he'd tell me what's going on, you know, and sometimes we'd get upset with each other and it's a little bit more quiet. But it did affect me more. But I want to say, as a unit, like as Liana likes to call it, the family unit, I think was affected more so when she left. So what do you think? Like what has changed? What are the differences that you see being a quote unquote empty nester?

SPEAKER_02 15:12

I think it's opened up some perspectives as to our roles as parents and having a certain level of pride in the fact that the kids are doing what they love to do, right? So Liana, when she left to AM, she was doing what she loved to do, right? She was fulfilling her goals and what she had set out to do. And so even though it was bittersweet because that's my girl, and then I was just left with the boys after she left, I loved that she was happy because that's that that next phase in their lives. And the same thing with Joaquin, he is doing so well. He's enjoying his time being semi-independent, right? So he's living with three other roommates, but it's it's opened his eyes to other people's routines and family lives and in a very intimate way because he's living with these individuals that he's he never met before, right? So he's got no background information on them until they're actually living together. So I think that his it's it's great to see his growth too as a new, I guess, out of out of the home student, right? Like a new little new college bird that flew the flew the nest to experience those things. And so I think it's I I find it really fun to have those conversations now with them, living their lives away from our home to talk to them about their experiences and things that they've they've heard or seen or done that spark some curiosity in them. So uh for that, I'm I'm really I'm excited for them. For us, I'm excited for our new chapter together because it's nice to have just time to be us. I don't think we ever weren't us.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

But it's different, right?

SPEAKER_02 17:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:28

Well, the cool thing I think about us, because we're so cool.

SPEAKER_02 17:32

We are so cool. Let's just put it out there. We are so cool. If we do say so ourselves, yes.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

The interesting thing about us is that we waited three years before we had kids. So is it wasn't like we were dating, got married, had kids, boom, we're we're like off and running. No, we spent about three years where it was just the two of us and our puppies in a big ass house at the time and just getting to know each other, getting to, you know, just be together. You know, we'd we'd go if I think my sister was coming through here when you know, one time she was stay stayed at the house. She's like, okay, we're going to Mexico, y'all want to go? We're like, let's go. Yeah. You know, or like we'd be sitting here and we're like, man, you want to go to, you know, Porpas or, you know, like Porte or we just did whatever. And that was kind of cool. So whenever we had kids, it was like, okay. You know, we've it's not like we traveled. I mean, we didn't have a lot of money either. But it wasn't a going back to that whenever the kids left was easier, I think. It was an easier transition. Because we already did stuff together. Even as a family, we did, but now it's just us to where it's it does, you know, the some of the things that they were, you know, they had on this list that I was reading, they said, you know, parents have mixed emotions, you know, they have the like you were saying, you know, you have your sense of pride for your kids. And but then you have a sadness because of their daily presence, right?

SPEAKER_02 19:07

Right.

SPEAKER_00 19:07

But was what's true about our relationship is that I think we talk to them more.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

Oh, definitely when they were here. That's true. That is true.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:20

Like today, I talked to Liana for a good hour and a half before she left for her 12-hour shift at the hospital, just talking about nonsense, right? Just about nonsense. Nonsense. But and she and I talk nearly every day for at least 45 minutes. And then Joaquin, now he'll call me a good maybe three, four times a day just in spurts, just to see what I'm doing. Yeah. Or text. So yeah, he's he's in constant contact. Whereas I think they take it for granted when we're here and they know they're coming home, that it's just there's a sense of safety. And we do the same, right? So, like, oh, I'm gonna see you later. So there's no sense of urgency to talk to, to contact you. But now that I guess it's it's the scarcity mentality in a weird way, they're like, oh, I I've got to call mom or dad, or I've got to let let's talk to them about it. Yeah, I agree. I think that now that we are in different places, and if oh, if we don't answer the phone when they call.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

Well, the other thing is like they're they're texting us, what are y'all doing downtown?

SPEAKER_02 20:37

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 20:40

Why are you, you know?

SPEAKER_02 20:42

Or if it if we're at one of their favorite restaurants, yeah, they see that we're there, why are you there?

SPEAKER_00 20:47

Tight invite. Yeah. Wow. What is it? That invite it was crazy. What does Nani say what? Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:56

Was that Non or was that Waffini?

SPEAKER_00 20:58

One of them.

SPEAKER_02 20:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

Yeah, because so what happens now is that one of the kids will be in town, and then we go out to eat, right? Like, hey, let's because it's kind of a celebration. So we go out to eat, and then we'll snap a pick, you know, a selfie, and send it to the our little group chat. And so the other kid is like, what the hell? You know, it's like and so it's happened both times. Liana was down and we took a picture, sent it to Joaquin, and then Joaquin was down to send a picture and send it to Liana.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

So Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

That's that's kind of funny. The other thing it talks about is loss of purpose. Some parents may struggle with a loss of purpose after many years focusing on active parenting and worry about what to do with their new free time. I don't think we've done that. I think I think we've done more of what we were doing before, right? Yeah. It's like you rejoined Lifetime because you wanted to go check it out. You were doing Orange Theory before, so you were working out, you know, three or four or five days a week. Now you're working out three or four, five days a week. You're running more, which you were doing, you know, six years ago. Yeah. Live. And so because Joaquin and I no longer work out, I went back to lifetime. So it's just finding that balance, I guess, but it's not like we're like, oh, what do we do? It's like, oh, okay, we're gonna switch up what we're doing, but we're just gonna do more of what we were doing before.

SPEAKER_02 22:23

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

And the other thing that they were talking about is they call it an identity shift. The the transition can prompt an identity crisis, especially for parents who have strongly identified with their role as a caregiver. I don't think that's happened because they still talk to us. They call us all the time, they ask us questions, you know. They I don't feel like we're not involved in their lives. And I think it's something that you and I discuss all the time. I didn't have that relationship with my parents. My parents never knew who I was dating, who I was breaking up with, who I was seeing knew, who, you know, how my classes were going. You know, and they call us about everything.

SPEAKER_02 23:04

We have a play-by-play every day of what's going on. And one kid will call when I'm talking to the other one, and it's like, oh my gosh, yes.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

So it's great. No, absolutely. I God, I love it. It's so so we were talking to, I won't say who it was, you know, names and and dates will not be mentioned. Will remain anonymous. Okay. So anyway, we're talking to somebody, and he's like, Um, damn it, I already put a gender on it. Ah, they're gonna figure it out. He he said, Well, you know, he was talking about his his his child, his offspring. He's like, Well, you know, they they told me because uh I talked to my kids. Oh. We were like, Man, you better get you kind of insinuating like we don't talk to our kids.

SPEAKER_02 24:00

It was just kind of I can't get them off the phone. You cannot. Oh, that's why I said if if we don't answer their calls when they call, if I don't answer their calling you, and vice versa.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

Yeah, no, I get calls from Naun, especially. Yeah. She's like, Where's mom? Why is mom not answering my why does mom hate me? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

So the other thing is marital changes. It says a shift in in focus constraints or change the relationship between partners, leading some question, leading some to question their marriage. That hasn't happened. No, I think it's because we're I don't want to say we're heavily involved with our kids and stuff like that, but we kind of are, but not not at the not helicopter parents. Not helicopter parents type shit. But I think because we're constantly talking, even you and I, you know, when we come home, my first question is have you talked to the kids? Because if you talk to them, then I get a rundown on what they're doing and how they are.

SPEAKER_02 25:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:04

There was a quote that I wrote down. Uh we were I don't for I forgot what we were watching, but let me read it. It says, You're only as happy as your unhappiest child.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

So when I I I forgot what we were watching, but I thought it was such a great quote because it's so true.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Like it does not matter if one child is like shining bright and doing everything they're doing, and everything's just going their way. If you have one kid that is not, you're gonna shift focus to that kid, and you you you are happy for that other kid, right?

SPEAKER_02 25:41

Right.

SPEAKER_00 25:42

But it it does affect you. It's kind of, you know.

SPEAKER_02 25:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

I never thought about it like that. Never ever. Yeah. But it just kind of it it it you know, it kind of rang true for for me specifically. But anyway.

SPEAKER_02 25:58

But I think that also poses what you mentioned earlier with a shift in in the marriage. And I feel like if you have a healthy balance all through your marriage and you keep communicating with one another, not just about the kids, but about like genuinely, how are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 26:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:20

How was your day? Like, I know immediately when something's wrong.

SPEAKER_00 26:24

Right. I think you're pretty good at that. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

And I think that we're in tune with each other to where, yes, even though we had the kids, we didn't lose touch or connection with each other. So we didn't lose ourselves in immersing everything that we are into the kids. Right. I mean, yes, when they're little, it's very easy for that to happen. And it did, it did happen for a minute with the kids where because they it it does become all-consuming at some points, right? Where if the kids are sick or if they're going through a period of time where they're more needy, and so you we would tag team it, you would have one, I'd have the other, and we kind of manage that. But I think that something that we've always had from even before the kids is that we communicate all the time and we truly enjoy each other's company, like honestly, like legitimately enjoy each other's company. And so that never that that's never subsided, that that never changed whether the kids were around or not.

SPEAKER_00 27:28

Right.

SPEAKER_02 27:29

Right?

SPEAKER_00 27:29

No, I I absolutely agree. I I think I was just remembering something somebody asked me, it's like, are you always like this? You know, and I said, it can get annoying sometimes. You need to ask my wife. But I think what's funny is that when I when I actively try to make you laugh, you don't laugh.

SPEAKER_01 27:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:55

But when I just make random ass comments, you just freaking bust out laughing. I was like, I ain't even trying to make that shit funny. I was just I was just saying. That is true. So yeah, no, uh, it it's I mean, we we do have I think we've we've uh focused more on the relationship. You know, I I I don't want to put out there like this is a this is everything's perfect. We had we had our struggles, especially when the babies were young, especially when as as the father, as the dad, as the husband, when you're like, I'm not getting any attention. It's like you're like, yeah, because you're taking care of the kids, and I would come home, and you're like, take this kid, right?

SPEAKER_02 28:43

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

And I was always like, you know, because you you worked a full day, you know, and and I worked a full day, but I'm just coming home. And so I was like, Can you just just give me two seconds? You know, let me just, you know, go use the restroom. She's like, and let the or you were like, I haven't used the restroom all day. Where's my two seconds? And I and I got it, but it was just like it it was it was a struggle for a while there, especially when when they were little with Liana, because we were first time parents, we were on that dialonse, you know, we were calling, you know, future Liana about Liana. But that Dollinurse, we were on that phone all the damn time because she wouldn't stop crying. It's 2 a.m. You're crying, she's crying, I feel like crying.

SPEAKER_02 29:34

Everybody.

SPEAKER_00 29:36

Everybody crying, but I think we worked out our our kind of thing.

SPEAKER_02 29:42

We found our yeah, we found our balance.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

And I think what I what I tell, what I used to tell people is what we were talking about earlier with with our daughter, right? She's kind of getting to that point where she started the bullshit in relationships and she's getting a very Detailed list of this is what I want, and if you can't provide that, then I gotta move on. And that's how I see it. I know when you and I got together, I think we both were like that. We're like, these are my you know, this is my list.

SPEAKER_02 30:16

Non-negotiables.

SPEAKER_00 30:17

Yeah, these are my non-negotiables. And you'd be like, Yeah, here are mine. And if you can't meet this expectation, then you got a bounds. My favorite, my favorite kind of rule that we had that I think I came up with. It was like, look, we're about to go out. We're gonna have a couple of drinks. I'm probably gonna say some stupid shit that probably gonna piss you off, but just kind of let it slide for the night.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

I don't remember that rule.

SPEAKER_00 30:54

Yeah, it was a rule, and I said, let it slide, you know, and then we'll discuss it, you know. I say dumb shit all the time. And I said, and conversely, if you say something that would piss me off, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, you know what? I don't wanna be a, you know, what do you call it, a wet blanket or whatever. I don't want to just, you know, kill the vibe, as the kids say nowadays. You know, maybe on the drive home, like I was a little, it was a little cut a little deep there. Yeah. But that was, you know, and I think we when we kind of stated that, we're like, okay, you know, we we can we can move forward. Yep. I know when we were first married, uh, you know, the other role was was with football. I was like, I gotta watch football, I gotta watch the cowboys. And the first the first the first season, it was like the 99th season, right?

SPEAKER_02 31:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

We had moved into the house in April. We got married in 99. We moved into the house in April. Season starts in September first game of the season. You know, we get up, we're eating breakfast or whatever, and I'm like, Cowboys play at noon. So you're like, okay, and she's you know, you you said, um, so what are we doing today? I was like, Cowboys are playing, so season started. Remember the rule, you know? And you're like, well, I'm not gonna be here. You're like, I'm gonna go go shop or something. I was like, cool. So I had the house to myself, me and the puppies, and watching the game, Redskins versus Cowboys, Cowboys come back, win the game, all this and that. And I'm just hype, lit, just I'm drinking. I, you know, it's such a freaking crazy game. And you come back.

SPEAKER_02 32:41

I don't remember this. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:44

You come back and you're like, what have you been doing all day? I was like, it's the NFL season just started, so I've been watching football all day. She goes, Is this all you're gonna do today? So it was, you know, you were just kind of like, this is it? This this is what this is what you're gonna do. And I get it was just I guess it was just so different than what you were used to or whatever, and and so I kind of I pulled out our contract.

SPEAKER_02 33:15

Oh anyway. But yeah, I I think that we've just gone to just doing more of what we did before.

SPEAKER_00 33:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:26

Before the kids were were around. But I think it's again, I I think it's it's healthy. It it's a really healthy balance all the way around. And the kids, I dare say, appreciate us a little more now that we're on their own. And Liana's even admitted to it a couple of times. She's like, oh my God, now I understand why you guys did that. Right. And so she's working at the hospital. She's seen lots of different families come and go, and she's seen some interactions between parents of kids that have made her uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_00 34:00

Like the one she was talking about where the daughter was kind of completely disrespectful of the mom and her aunt.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

No, it was the it was the mom's best friend that was there.

SPEAKER_00 34:10

Right.

SPEAKER_02 34:11

But either way, the way that they were speaking in front of adults, Liana thought was completely inappropriate and she it made her uncomfortable. And she doesn't, she doesn't get that way very easily, but she said, wow, like the way that they were speaking to the adults in the room really made her uneasy. And she's like, now I understand this is why. Because it was the mother's friend.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Right.

SPEAKER_02 34:35

And the daughter was in there with the mother's friend's daughter. So it was two preteen girls and then two adult women. And the way that the girls were speaking around those women, the way that the moms are speaking around their girls. And Liana said, Now I understand why you wanted to know the parents, you wanted to meet the parents before you would even leave me at a house. And I said, Yeah, I mean, just because parents are parents biologically doesn't mean that they're fit. There's not, it's not the environment that I would want you to be in.

SPEAKER_01 35:05

Right.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

So yeah, we do have to do a little scouting before we say, Yeah, sure, hang out here for the day or a sleepover. So it I think that that perspective has been nice to have them finally come around and go, ah, now I get it. And I think that they're having a lot of those aha moments on their own. And when they talk to us about it, I think it's it's great.

SPEAKER_00 35:26

But yeah, Liana for for all her, you know, feminist down with the patriarchy, all that. She's she has very conservative views on family. Like she's she's super like particular about where she kind of plants her flag of feminism. And I think that you have to have a balance. I mean, there is a balance. Like nobody's saying don't be a feminist, but understand and and you know, I guess respect kind of the the the way our culture is, the way, you know, parenting is, the the role of the father, the role of the mother, and and how those two can coexist. You know, it they're and it's starts with respect, it starts with all of that, but I think she's she's really good. She won't state it, she'll never say it, but she's really good at at like this is what I want. Even even at the like the guys that she's dated, you know, she expects certain things from them. And they're very, you know, patriarchal type thing. You know, it's a very like, you know, I need you to be, I need you to be a man, you know. It's like I need you to take care of certain things. Yes. You know?

SPEAKER_02 36:42

Because just because she can do them, yeah, if they're around, it's nice for them to have to to be able to take something off her plate.

SPEAKER_00 36:49

I wouldn't and I want you to tell a story for our audience of whenever you and Liana had gone to uh had gone out shopping, uh-huh, and then y'all were walking into a restaurant, and then what happened?

SPEAKER_02 37:01

No, no, no. We we went to the outlets at the San Marcos outlets, and we went into the polo store. And of course, everything is insanely expensive, but it's a very nice store, right? So we're in there and we both go to leave and we approach the doors at the same exact time, and our hands are by our sides, right? Our arms are down, hands by our sides, and nobody's there to open the door. We look at each other and start busting out laughing because we're so used to having somebody there to open the door. Can we open our doors? Yes, we are fully capable of opening our own, our own doors, but we're so used to having a gentleman around, whether it's you or Joaquin or anybody in the vicinity, right?

SPEAKER_00 37:52

And so we just lapsed so y'all stood there for 15 minutes, just blinking.

SPEAKER_02 38:04

We just looked at each other, hands by our sides, like yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:09

Is anybody gonna up at the door?

SPEAKER_02 38:10

Who what kind of a place is this?

SPEAKER_00 38:13

Is Chivalry There our next podcast?

SPEAKER_02 38:17

Really? So, yeah, that was pretty funny. That was just a few months ago that we were we were met with that. No, I love that story with ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 38:25

I love it. Uh so there they were talking about experiences on this this article, why the experience can be difficult. And then the one that's what we talked about, right? The house can feel empty and quiet, leading to feelings of loneliness, especially for parents with one child, which we don't, we have two. But the house is quieter. And the other the other thing that's kind of funny is that our kids were were kind of sometimes a little, what would you call it? Like a little fun police kids, right?

SPEAKER_02 39:03

For real. Why are they why were they the ones telling us to turn the volume down?

SPEAKER_00 39:08

Turn the turn the movie down.

SPEAKER_02 39:10

So loud. I'm trying to sleep. Right?

SPEAKER_00 39:15

Yeah. And then when they were doing it, when when Joaquin was doing it, you know, my wife would look at each other as like one more month.

SPEAKER_02 39:24

Then we can have it as loud as we want.

SPEAKER_00 39:27

It's gonna turn it up to 11. So that was one. The other is the emotional distress is not a clinic, uh, not a clinical diagnosis and often not publicly acknowledged, making it hard to find sympathy or support. Notes the better health channel. It's an unrecognized grief, is what they're saying. I when Liana left for college, I got a text from one of my fraternity brothers, and it was it was a really thoughtful text. I really wasn't expecting, but it kind of the gist of it was hey bro, he's like, I know that you know you just had your first child go to college, and it can be hard. But if you need anything, let me know. You know, our kid went off to college last year, and I know I went through some things when he left. It can be hard. And I said, No, I appreciate you, you know. But even stuff like that, like other other parents that have gone through it. And with Liana, I think it was a little bit harder because we were so used to being a family of four.

SPEAKER_02 40:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 40:34

And you know, you become a family of three, and so you go to restaurants, you're like table for four, no shit, three. Yeah, that was ugh. And then and then you kind of get used to it, right? And so when Joaquin left, not that it's not hard, but it's it was a less of a impact, I think.

SPEAKER_02 40:54

Oh, we knew what to expect.

SPEAKER_00 40:56

Yeah. So I I assume there is some grief, some but I think we talk to them all the time. They've come home. I don't know if I told this on a podcast, but Joaquin left in the mid-August, and we were gonna get ready for the first uh AM game, the first game of the season, which was like two or three weeks into the college, into his classes. And so Letty had invited Joaquin home because I was gonna do a brisket. He said, Oh, you maybe you can come home and help help dad. He's like, Okay. And then he come, he I was later talking to him. He's like, Day dad, you know, maybe I'll come home and help you with the brisket. And I was like, No, you're not coming home. He's like, What are you what are you talking about? He's like, Mom already invited me. I said, No, son. I was like, You gotta stay. You gotta stay over there. Just stay there. I said, go to the game, be a college student, go have fun, do all that stuff. And I think he was a little hurt, and I don't think I didn't do it to hurt him, right? I didn't want to, you know, kind of do that, but I did want him to, you know, kind of enjoy being in college. I was like, it's the first game of the season.

SPEAKER_02 42:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:15

Go to that.

SPEAKER_02 42:16

That was the right thing to do.

SPEAKER_00 42:17

Yeah, I said, go, go try to find tickets. And I said, uh, you have friends and all that. And he's like, okay. So I call him the Sunday before the game was the following Saturday. So this is you know a week before the game. Call him a Sunday. I was like, Would you able to get some tickets? He's like, No, you know, talk to some people and can't really get any tickets. And so I get online, grab some tickets, send it to him. And I was like, here's two tickets. Go to the game. Take a girl.

SPEAKER_02 42:47

He did.

SPEAKER_00 42:48

He did. He had a great time. And so it's just it's those things, right? Because we do talk to them. I mean, they they uh so there is some grief because on the day-to-day thing, I mean we don't we don't go to football games anymore, right? The high high school football games, we don't have practice, we don't have dance recitals or dance practice or you know, football games or wrestling matches or anything like that. I mean I think our high school or kids' high school went undefeated and is in the playoffs right now, and I was like, damn it.

unknown 43:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:25

Timing. Yeah. So one of the other things it said on here uh is how to cope. So it says communicate with your partner, which we do. Talk openly about your feelings, and make time to nurture relationships. We do that. It says find a new purpose, explore new hobbies, travel, or focus on career goals, which you've done more so, I think, than I have, I guess. Because you've switched careers.

SPEAKER_02 43:53

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 43:53

You know, after Liana left.

SPEAKER_02 43:55

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 43:56

Well, last year.

unknown 43:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:58

Joaquin's last year in high school.

SPEAKER_02 44:01

You shifted gears a little bit and went moved up to the district level. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 44:05

Right. And so I thought that was kind of funny. I guess we have done some traveling, but it's basically going to visit them in college. Yes. The other thing is said acknowledge and validate feelings. Listen, but don't judge. It says recognize the sadness and anxiety are normal parts of transition. So I mean, I think this is all pretty. Oh shit, it says seek professional help though. I don't know if I told you, but somebody, one of our listeners said that Jaima needs to, Jaima needs to quit using this as as therapy and go to therapy.

SPEAKER_02 44:41

Oh my. He had very big feelings. He did. He had really big feelings about it. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 44:49

I was like, damn. Okay. I know it was like that.

SPEAKER_02 44:53

It's actually not. But but I think to get back to I I think that sometimes people grieve their routines, right? All the little moments that you have that you put in place when you're a family. And there's like the the morning routines and then the after school and after work routines. And so it becomes part of your of your life, right? Day in and day out, the weekend routines. And so you miss that when the kids are gone. But I think that that makes the time together that much more precious because the kids come back and they they want to revert, revert back to those routines because it makes them feel safe.

SPEAKER_00 45:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 45:39

And it it gives them a sense of comfort and home and belonging that they crave too. So I think it makes it that much sweeter when they do come home, uh, whether it's for a a weekend or a quick like when Liana came home a couple of weeks ago and it was like less than 24 hours because she had an appointment here in town. And so she drove in.

SPEAKER_00 46:01

She didn't even tell us.

SPEAKER_02 46:02

She didn't even she I think she wanted to surprise us. But Liana, I think if you're listening, I think you wanted to surprise us. And then I ruined it when I called you and asked you what you were doing.

SPEAKER_00 46:11

She's like, ah, hell. I know. Which which get gets us to some of the benefits, right? Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 46:16

And some Oh, I jumped ahead.

SPEAKER_00 46:18

Well, it's a good transition. You know, we're we're a team. We're working here.

unknown 46:22

Love it.

SPEAKER_00 46:23

I'm working here. This is better relationship with your kids, which I 100%. Because it says when you're not living together, you don't get all the everyday, all the everyday bullshit the little you know teenagers can get into. And it says it leaves room for more positive communication. So now that you're with with Leon, of course, she's she's an adult, she's 23 years old. She got it as soon as she left. You know, I think she kind of there was a lot of you know, butting heads back before, like her probably when sophomore year and junior year. When she got a senior, when she got to be a senior and she started getting it, when she left, she completely got it. She was like, you know, I know what you guys are doing now. And now it's not even a question. With Joaquin, there's still that kind of that power struggle.

SPEAKER_02 47:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:15

But he's getting it now. He is.

unknown 47:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 47:20

And it's only been like four months that he's been out, but he gets it. The other some of the other benefits, which was I read on one of them, I can't man, I need I I was hoping I saved it, but I didn't. It said that you you don't really see a financial change.

SPEAKER_02 47:37

Like Oh, no way. Not at all.

SPEAKER_00 47:41

Spending more money.

SPEAKER_02 47:42

Oh, between their living expenses and you know, you're like, oh, I wish I could have a little ice cream, but I don't have enough in my account. So what do we do? We go ahead and send them 20. Like, get yourself your ice cream or go get your Chick-fil-A or all the little extras.

SPEAKER_00 48:04

Guys, I I I really would love to come home, but I don't have any gas. Oh hell.

SPEAKER_02 48:10

Here we go. So, no, the the budget has not changed at all.

SPEAKER_00 48:15

And it's backed up by research, right? This is a study by the Center of Retirement Research found that empty nesters' consumption decreased, but their net worth didn't always increase as expected.

SPEAKER_02 48:30

That's a shocker.

SPEAKER_00 48:31

Explanations include paying down debt or continued financial support for jokes.

SPEAKER_02 48:36

Yeah. Well, now we got student loans. We've got one who who graduated and her loans are coming up, and then we got Joaquin. It's like, so we no, there's not much of a break at all. But that's okay. That's okay. It's fine.

SPEAKER_00 48:52

Well, what's crazy, right?

SPEAKER_02 48:53

This was the whole point, right? To get them out to fly on their own and to find their own, their own passions and follow them and get get an education and start their new chapters. And so we we can't complain. We we honestly cannot complain about any of those little things.

SPEAKER_00 49:12

No, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_02 49:13

It's been, I think, as good of a process and as smooth of a transition as possible that you you could expect, right? From going from family of four around all the time to a family of three for a good five years to now a family of two, but we are still so in tune with each other that it doesn't feel like they're gone. I mean, yes, obviously we physically we we feel that we we know that, but emotionally, no. They're they are in constant communication every single day, whether it's through the family text or phone calls, really, is what it is. Lots, lots of talking, face timing all the time, just about silly stuff. Just we know all the things that are going on, the highs and the lows, and so I don't feel like we're missing out on things because they are they are choosing to include us. And that's another thing that I told Liana when she left and then Joaquin too, that this is their time to be independent and that I would not call them. Right, right. That was a rule. I don't call because I don't know your schedule, right? You could be in the middle of studying, you could be meeting a new friend, you can be hanging out, just wanting to just relax. So I will not call you. And it's not because I don't want to talk to you, it's because I want to respect your space and your independence. And so please call me whenever you're available to talk. And I if if I'm available, I will talk. I will stop what I'm doing. And so that's been our rule. They call.

SPEAKER_00 51:01

But they call all the time, they call all the time, and at every hour of the day.

SPEAKER_02 51:07

10:30 a.m.

SPEAKER_00 51:09

7 a.m.

SPEAKER_02 51:10

12:05 p.m. 325. Uh but they initiate those conversations. So it's not like we're hunting them down or calling them or trying to make them feel guilty in any way if they don't answer the phone. So we made that very clear when they left that we wanted to honor their independence in their space and their new chapters. And so we would not call them. So, but they call. Right. And so I think that speaks to for for them and why and how, what what's prompted that, that's for them to answer. But I don't think that it's it's something that we oh, okay, go ahead. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00 52:05

Go ahead. Fine, finish your thought.

SPEAKER_02 52:07

My ranch water doesn't quite have that.

SPEAKER_00 52:11

Here's a little Oh damn. That's a little ice of the I hear that ranch. Okay, so so I'm gonna give you an observation because so when I was looking up, you know, just kind of stats or just, you know, basically talking points for the podcast. I read something, and so I'm gonna give you my theory.

unknown 52:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 52:36

I'm gonna give you what I've noticed. After I read that, I was like, that's what she was doing. And then I'm gonna give you what you did, and then I'm gonna give you what I did? Yes. Oh. And then I'm gonna give you what the article said.

SPEAKER_02 52:49

What I should have done.

SPEAKER_00 52:50

No.

SPEAKER_02 52:51

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 52:51

What the article said you should do.

SPEAKER_02 52:54

That's what I just said.

SPEAKER_00 52:57

No, it says what you should have done.

SPEAKER_02 52:59

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 52:59

So now let me listen. Okay. So when Liana went off to college, right? So okay, just to just to get a tally on on the pets, we have two dogs. We have Thor and we have Sarah that you've heard on the podcast. They'll chime in every once in a while. We've had 'em. We've had them for a while. When Liana went off to college, we have some other pets, but they're, you know, it's a turtle and it was a bait of fish. And so when Liana went off to college, we got an addition to the family. And it was a cat.

SPEAKER_02 53:36

That was a few years after she left.

SPEAKER_00 53:38

I know, but it was after I know, but it was after she left.

SPEAKER_02 53:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 53:42

And then whenever Joaquin was gonna go off to college the year before, right?

SPEAKER_02 53:48

So the summer before his senior year.

SPEAKER_00 53:50

The summer before his senior year, when you started feeling he was about to leave, what did we do?

unknown 53:55

We got another cat.

SPEAKER_00 53:59

So the the article was saying, find new babies. And I was like, damn it. Not literally, damn it. They meant like, you know, hobbies and shit.

SPEAKER_02 54:14

That's so funny. Well, I have gotten into the boo-boos, so that's been my guilty pleasure.

SPEAKER_00 54:18

Okay, then what was Liana talking about though, that I thought was really good. I wish she would have come on the podcast and talked about it. What is the telltale sign for recession or it happened during COVID?

SPEAKER_02 54:34

Oh, the lipstick. She called it something, but it referred to women specifically treating themselves to smaller things like fancy lipsticks versus larger big ticket items, right? So it the the lipstick effect, the lipstick lipstick treating yourself syndrome.

SPEAKER_00 55:01

The lipstick effect.

SPEAKER_02 55:02

The lipstick effect, okay. Yeah, and so I took the lipstick effect and I you attested a monster to it to laboo boos, and that has been my thing. Yeah. And I really enjoy it. So I I get people are going, what? The laboo boos? That's ridiculous. Feel, feel what you want to feel, right? That's fine. Get over it. But that's not gonna steal my joy. I'm gonna tell you that right now. But that make that makes me happy, right? And I'm not I'm not imposing on anybody else.

SPEAKER_01 55:39

Right.

SPEAKER_02 55:39

It is my thing, and it makes me happy, and it brings me joy. And it's a little, a little bit of, you know.

SPEAKER_00 55:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 55:46

But let me a little whimsy in my day.

SPEAKER_00 55:48

A little whimsical?

SPEAKER_02 55:50

A little whimsy on my purse.

SPEAKER_00 55:52

So go ahead. So I'm gonna read the definition of the lipstick effect because I thought it was so freaking I'd never heard of it. And so when Liana introduced that that term and explained it, I was like, that makes perfect sense. But it says a retail phenomenon where spending on small, affordable luxuries like lipstick increases during economic turn downturns. Right. Which is now right. It says this is seen as a way to for consumers to get a mood boost and feel a sense of indulgence and normalcy when they're cutting back on larger, more expensive purchases due to financial stress. But where I'll kind of um interject, it's not like lefufus are cheap, though.

SPEAKER_02 56:41

They're not lefufus, it's la boo-boos. La fufus are the fake ones, sir.

SPEAKER_00 56:46

It's not like they're cheap, though. No, they're not. And then it it's kind of counter counterproductive when you buy a shitload of you may be right. How many, how many do you have? Oh, can you can you do a quick count real quick?

SPEAKER_02 57:02

Oh, probably. I can't, I don't even want to say.

SPEAKER_00 57:06

As I stand in front of my 3D printer.

SPEAKER_02 57:09

Do I have every collection?

SPEAKER_00 57:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 57:12

Yes. Do I have the exclusives? Also, yes. Does it make me so happy? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 57:21

Do you have them when they're standing? Yes. Do you have them when they're sitting? Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 57:25

Do I have accessories? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 57:29

Clothes, hats, glasses, shoes, headphones, purses.

SPEAKER_02 57:38

Also, yes. So it makes me so happy. And the fact that I also have friends at work that also indulge in the same whimsy that I do.

SPEAKER_00 57:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:55

It's great. It's greatness.

SPEAKER_00 57:57

So another another episode that we had was called Being Ahead of the Curb or Ahead of the Curb. Uh-huh. Do you think you were ahead of the curb on the whole Laboooboos? Or were you behind the curb? Or did you come on right when they were picking up?

SPEAKER_02 58:11

Yeah, I think it was right when it started because it started on the West Coast Popmart that sells that that's the company behind La Boo-Boo's, right? They they started this trend started on the West Coast. And well, I mean, right, like with most trends, it starts on the coast. So the West Coast and the East Coast, and then it made its way to us about the summertime. So I think in the past six months. Oh my gosh, maybe less. Holy moly.

SPEAKER_00 58:41

Because I do remember we ordered more than six months because you had them when Liana graduated.

SPEAKER_02 58:47

No, I did not. We ordered our first labu-boos in Florida in July.

SPEAKER_00 58:54

Oh, you're right. Yes. Because it was her birthday.

SPEAKER_02 58:57

Yes. And we ordered them then. Remember, we were all on our phones?

SPEAKER_00 59:01

Yeah, we're yeah, we were trying to have a good time, and y'all are on your phones.

SPEAKER_02 59:04

Oh, rude. It was at night. Nobody's going to the beach at night.

SPEAKER_00 59:10

Oh my God. So all right, we still got time. We still got time.

SPEAKER_02 59:14

Okay, go.

SPEAKER_00 59:16

So a big discussion point with the other two hosts was that why do you go on the beach and that's all you did is go to the beach and just sat on the beach all day? That's so stupid. I want to go do stuff. I want to go fishing. What? So yeah. What what um you have any comment on what to do? What do you do at the beach?

SPEAKER_02 59:40

Nothing. I read. I enjoy. Isn't that the whole point of being at the beach? Is just to relax. Have no schedule. You lay out on the beach and you go into the water when you want to go into the water. You read your Your book when you want to read your book. You take a nap if you want to take a nap. Take a damn nap. You're on vacation. Have drinks at one o'clock in the afternoon right next to the room.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:09

Oh, we we started. Yeah, we started early.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:11

We you.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:13

What? No, I don't. I do remember some some mimosas coming up on live.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:18

Oh, you're you know what? You're right. I am the queen with the biggest. With breakfast.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:21

With breakfast.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:22

That is true. And just to bring that back, so Liana, right, our empty nester, is coming home for Thanksgiving. And a patient, she was speaking to a patient just yesterday. We were talking about this today. And uh she was talking to the patient about, you know, what what does she do on the holidays? And is there anything during the Christmas holidays that she looks forward to? Because Liana was was concerned if she brought up Thanksgiving, it was too soon, and this patient may not be out of the hospital by Thanksgiving. So she she bumped it forward and said, Well, what about what about Christmas? You know, what what are some things during Christmas that you look forward to? And she was talking to this patient about their traditions, and then the uh patient asked her, What are you doing for Thanksgiving? Are you gonna have to work? Are you gonna be here? And Liana said, No. And she goes, actually, the only thing that's keeping me hanging on this week is that I know when I go home, my mom will have mimosas for me. She said, give my mom a day vacation, whether it's a holiday or a vacation day, she's gonna have mimosas. If it's president's day, mimosas. If it's Easter, memosis.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:34

On the beach, memosas. You had them just about every day we were there because I was making breakfast and I had breakfast for everybody, and then you busted out the mimosas. So I need you to retract your statement.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:48

You're right. I do retract the mimosas. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:53

I had coffee with my breakfast.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:56

And I did not. Well, I did, and then transition to a mimosa. Is it ever a bad idea to have a mimosa? Listeners, is it ever a bad idea to have a mimosa? I don't think I'm gonna let the I'm gonna go ahead and let the case. Okay, we'll pause.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:13

We'll pause for some calls. We'll take your calls right now. I don't think mimosas are ever a bad idea. If if you if you guys think mimosas are it, I want you to, I want you to yell or do something. Oh, oh, there it is. Oh, oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:30

See, I knew it. I knew they were feeling it.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:33

The studio audience, at least. Everybody gets mimosas.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:37

Our studio audience, you get a mimosa. You're the best.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:39

You get a mimosa.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:41

They know how to live their best life, and that's what we're all trying to do, ladies and gentlemen. Live our best lives. Have a mimosa. Why the hell not?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:51

Oh my god. All right, so usually what we do is is we have a verdict. Okay. So what what's your verdict on the empty nester thing? What okay? What's what's the best upside to be in an empty nestor for you? And then we'll we'll end it with that. The best upside.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:12

I think for me, it's been seeing our kids or hearing the maturity and the growth in our children, right? So the whole time you're raising these little human beings to grow up to be adults who are responsible and who are contributors to the community, but who are also really dang fun. And I think that right. So, like, I feel like the biggest joy in being an empty nester, if that's what we're gonna call it, right? For the sake of this podcast, has been being able to see our children enjoy their adult lives without us being there. And and that brings me so much happiness is knowing that they're okay and that they're they're stepping into their own.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:09

Absolutely. They're fully functional.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:11

Oh my gosh, that has just been it, it it warms my heart. I love it. And that they're still, they're actually amazingly fun young adults to be around.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:23

They're yeah, they're they're not the they're not the weird kid.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:26

No, they're not the weird kids, and they still like to hang out with us.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:30

That makes them kind of weird, but what we're great, and we pay. That's true. That's true. That's something you always have to do is pay.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:41

Yeah, what about you?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:42

So I I think I do agree with that. Seeing them be out there, have their friends, that's really cool. Like hearing about it is probably the best part of it. But but I think the fact that the fact that they start finding out that a lot of the stuff that we just like we did. I know I did as a kid, you know. I go off to college, you start going, damn, you know, dad was right, my mom was right. Man, like one thing that I noticed, I mean, I'm kind of a ass to my sister, you know. You start reevaluating who you are, and then you're like, I mean, I need to change that. Like, I need to, and they're realizing that, right? So the arguments get less, less and less, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:31

Right, because they have a different perspective now. They do, a more mature perspective, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:36

So part of it is because you're like, you can be like, I kind of said that like three years ago. Like they're like, damn it. So they they're it's just them maturing, I think, is just the the cherry on top, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:51

Oh, can I say one more thing too?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:53

Okay, go ahead. Okay, you can put your hand down. This is not class.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:59

It wasn't my whole hand, it was just my my pointer finger. Just your little hand. I said, but so getting to know your adult children's friends and also them becoming a part of our little family has been great. And so, just as a as a little asterisk aside, Liana and her best friend, and I'm gonna shout you out, Ryder, Ryder, are going to New York for the day.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:27

One day. Next. I don't understand it, but okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:30

Right? It just so happened they got a great deal, right? On a flight to New York and back on one day in December. And so Ryder, who is amazing, he he prints out an itinerary and shares it. So writer's in Dallas and and Liana is not, and so they're going back and forth with here's what we're gonna do in our day. And so Liana's telling me about this, and I'm like, oh my gosh, that sounds you love New York.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:00

I oh Newsflash. Letty loves New York.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:03

I I'm obsessed. And so I was like, oh my God, writer created the best itinerary for that for that short time, right? And so here I am going, would it be weird if I went? Did I just invite myself?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:19

Oh my god. Okay, guys, listen to me, guys. I have an idea.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:26

What if I you're gonna die? You're gonna love it. You're gonna love it. Just hear me out. No, and so I asked Liana, I said, Oh my God, would it be weird if I if I went to, because this sounds like so much fun. And she says, No, mom, come. And so I was like, oh, I feel like I'm inviting myself. I said, but you know, I am inviting myself, but I'm gonna go ahead and look up flights anyway. And so within an hour, I get a text from Ryder. No, no, no, I'm lying. I I said, Stop lying. I texted Liana and I said, Oh my gosh. I said, I feel like I totally invited myself. And she says, No, look at this. And she seen she sends me a screenshot of conversation between her and writer, a a text screenshot. And writer's going, oh my gosh, yes, she has to come with us.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:20

You gotta go.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:21

You she has gotta come. And so then he formally invites me. He texts me because we also we I text with Ryder, who's one of Liana's.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:31

Ryder has called you, FaceTimed you. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:34

Yeah, yes, who he's one of Liana's best friends. And so he and I have a bond. And so he texted saying, if this helps, you're formally invited. And I said, excellent, because I already bought the tickets. Ridiculous. So again, yeah, we still keep in touch with our kids. So for that that listener or for that that friend who said, Do you even talk to your kids? Yes. Uh, we do.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:03

We kind of do every day.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:05

Every day.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:07

Whether we ask for it or not. They're not cool.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:09

Because we don't reach out, they do. Yeah. And oh, they do.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:12

And we love it. We love it.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:13

Oh my god, it's the best.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:14

It is. It's good. So there you go, guys. I hope you love this episode. I know I loved. Well, okay. I'm gonna be honest. Last time I had my wife on on the podcast, I got some comments that said, you need you need to step down and let Letty be the host. Was it writer? Yeah, freaking writer. So there you go. Oh my god. Board approved. Empty Nestor's not so bad.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:46

Empty Nestor's not so bad. Can I do the cavel?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:48

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:49

All right. Hold on. Board approved. Let me let me bring it closer to the mic so the listeners can hear.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:53

Yeah. Okay, ready?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:54

Board approved. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:56

Yeah, there you go. Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast, please share it with others. Post about it on your social media, andor leave a rating and review. To catch all the latest from us, you can follow us on Instagram and X. So thanks again, and we'll see you next time.