The Chivalry Chronicles
We discuss topics such as Brotherhood, Masculinity, and Fatherhood. A modern manly approach to chivalry.
Or better yet, Guys Stuff that Guys Do, Cuz We're Guys.
The Chivalry Chronicles
Episode 036 - "Rites of Passage"
DLH, David, and Jaime discuss rites of passage. Inspired by the movie "My Life", they delve into the different things that their dads taught them and the things they hope to teach their sons.
A rite of passage is a ritual, event, or experience that marks or constitutes a major milestone or a change in a person's life.
- Driving
- Car Maintenance
- Knowing Basic Tools
- Everyday Carry - Pocket knife
- Bird and the Bees
- Reading Maps
- Social Drinking
Issue a verdict.
If by some chance, some stroke of luck, or some act of God, you have stumbled upon this broadcast, you are listening to the Chivalry Chronicles with your host, Dr. DLH.
SPEAKER_02:I'm a damn doctor.
SPEAKER_04:David's to not drink during the podcast.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And me, Jaime. They need to make uh podcast equipment a lot more expensive to get some of these clowns off the air. Gather around as we discuss a modern manly approach to chivalry. So I hope you're ready, because I know we are. So let's get into it. Yeah. That's right, baby. That's how we do it. And we're back with the chivalry chronicles from the friendly confines of the Chivalry Studios, aka. My office upstairs. Ain't that right, DLH? I guess. You don't know where you are, goddammit? I don't know what.
SPEAKER_04:I don't know where I'm at. Heck, my beer's hot too. And that's because it's in the koozie.
SPEAKER_00:What the hell? Y'all drinking some hot ass beer?
SPEAKER_02:That's why it's hot? Because it's in the koozie.
SPEAKER_04:No, no, that's not why. It's because we took too long to start this podcast. True.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. These are the sacrifices. These are the sacrifices we must make. We were trying to figure out what we were gonna do next and had our beer ready because we can't open it until we start our intro.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, we could and just open another one.
SPEAKER_02:Like you did. I'm just saying. And then there's open another one. There's options. Yes.
SPEAKER_00:But so I'll let me do the quick intro, right, into this, into this topic. There was a movie that came out back in '93, and it's called My Life. And it stars Michael Keaton Keaton and Nicole Kidman. Yeah. The story's called My Life. And Michael Keaton gets kidney cancer or something like that. And so he's afraid he's his wife is pregnant, and he's afraid that he's not going to be around for his son. And so he starts making a series of videos for his son, you know, basically how to cook spaghetti, how to drive, how to tie a tie, how to tie a tie, how to shave.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So which gets us to our topic, which is rites of passage. And we're going to do it because we're the Chivalry Chronicles, we're going to do it. You know, the kind of the their introduction into manhood and masculinity and that type of stuff. And so we have a list uh of several things that we kind of kicked around here, but David.
SPEAKER_01:What?
SPEAKER_00:Can you pay attention? Can the class pay attention? Paying attention is not a right of passage. What is your most memorable rite of passage? Something that your dad kind of walked you through.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, son of a gun. Damn. Way to put him on the spot.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I didn't I didn't know I was gonna be asked that question. Yeah. Well think about it quickly, because it's a rite of passage, right? Like, what do you remember your dad kind of going? Nothing?
SPEAKER_04:No, well, I mean, I guess I described him as chores, but Okay. Like, you're gonna mow the yard. Here's what you gotta do. Did he teach you how to mow a lawn? Very briefly. He taught me by uh throwing objects at me whenever I accidentally randomly throwing wrenches.
SPEAKER_03:If you can avoid a wrench, you can avoid it.
SPEAKER_04:Or like uh go go get me a crescent wrench and I bring back pliers and he's like this is not a crescent wrench. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Oh well that's a different one, is knowing knowing basic tool knowledge is gonna be another one. Yeah, but when you had to mow the lawn, was it a uh manual? Yeah, push mower. Yeah, yeah. I think that's the difference now, is because now you have to teach kids more than less. No, I think more because when we when we're talking about the the push mower that was not gas or electric, like it was just a rotating label.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, no, so I didn't have to go through that. Mine was a gas, mine was a gas mower. Yeah, but the thing that I don't think kids understand these days is starting that damn thing, pulling that cord. If you don't know, you gotta put some strength into it, especially the older ones. Yes, you you really had to pull that cord hard and with some technique.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, otherwise you were there just blowing out your well, because you gotta put it on choke and then you pull it, pull it, and then you put it on, you know.
SPEAKER_02:And those are the things they need to learn. Otherwise, you could pull 200 times and it's still not gonna do it.
SPEAKER_00:So that so let me define it for you. I'd I put you on the spot, and I don't apologize for it because you should have been ready, but I would I'm drinking hot beer, that's why. If you had just been paying attention. A rite of passage is a ritual, event, or experience that marks or constitutes a major milestone or change in a person's life. And we're gonna do it in a boy's life, so a man's life. A couple things that we kicked around is basically learning how to drive. You know, did your dad teach you how to drive, or did you learn by yourself? Uh some people's mothers teach them.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, first that might happen. My very first driving experience was my mom teaching me in some uh country roads driving from Olton, Texas, back to Amarillo. So there's no cars, and she basically I was falling asleep in the passenger side, and then she just said, Hey, you want to try to drive? Yeah. That was my first experience. But then my second experience was after my so my dad used to uh have a softball team, or uh he was in the softball league, and they would drink after after the games.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And so my dad had been drinking and he's like, here, you you can drive. So I hop in his truck, which was different from my mom's car. Trucks a bit more spacious from the oh yeah, uh uh for the pedals and and such. And I uh of course it's standard.
SPEAKER_00:I pop that thing in standard on the column or standard on the floor?
SPEAKER_04:On the floor, okay. Yeah, that's that's better at least. Yeah, it is better, but I didn't really know how to drive that that that experience that I had in my mom's car was with a standard vehicle, but it was just once you get past first gear, then I was riding second and third gear the rest of the time for the most part, right? And keep the wheels straight. My dad's now making me reverse in the parking lot. Press down and yeah, yeah. And anyways, of course, there was a lot of jerks, and then finally, whenever I got moving, I couldn't coordinate my right foot to tap the brake, and so I backed up into a into a car, another car, popped the little the back of the of the uh tail um the tail light. Yeah, and then my I just remember my dad, get the fuck out of the car. And he hops in and we we we we take off. Really? So that was kind of scary. I can't why why are you gonna put me through that trauma again, man? No, well, this is therapy.
SPEAKER_00:It is therapy. We're we're very high on therapy. Everyone, go get some therapy. So DLH, we'll go to you. Drivers, driver's license, driving a car. How did you learn? Was that a rite of passage for you in your in your life? It well, it was a rite of passage. How did you get past it?
SPEAKER_02:I I started driving fairly early. It was my dad who was teaching me, it was in a standard car. Um I always had an interest, like I was I couldn't wait to learn how to drive it. Absolutely. So that was something that I learned pretty early. And then driving in, you know, in an automatic car was a breeze.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So that stuff was easy. I actually learned how to drive a standard car much harder than that. It was somebody else's car. I wanna, it was, it was a friend of mine who had a a car, and like I had to experience all the hard stuff. Like when you're driving, you're in in you know, like second, third gear, whatever, you're in just regular traffic, and then you go on an uphill and you're on the break, and you have to let go, no shift, and then you don't know how to get back on a hill, get back into first gear. And then I remember specifically being on a hill and having to like tell the cars to go around me because I didn't want to roll back and hit a car. Like, just go around me. And then when no one was back there, then I had to figure it out. Um, but figuring out that first gear, that was it. Once I got that done, everything else was easy, you know. But yeah, I mean that was all early. Like I learned how to how early?
SPEAKER_00:Like, what are we talking about?
SPEAKER_02:I think I I want to say I learned how to drive an automatic car by the time I was like 12 or 13.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I'm right there with you. I'm right there with you.
SPEAKER_02:And then standard would have been, I think I was maybe 14, 15, something like that. Yes. And then, you know, and then after that, like if you learn how to drive standard, you can drive anything.
SPEAKER_00:Hell yeah. So my parents, my dad, my mom didn't, she never drove. Like they tried to teach her how to drive when we were kids, right? And she just never got it. It was just never something that she could do. So she never drove. And my dad was just like this freaking, like he drove everywhere. He, you know, like he was just but he never taught me how to drive, right? I learned how to drive just from backing up the truck backwards and forwards in the driveway. When I was like 10 or 11. And then so I want to say by the time I was like 12 and 13, I'd always volunteered to move the cars because at the you know, at the end of the night, there was like four cars in the driveway, and my dad would be the first one to have to leave the house. And so his car had to be at the end. So I'd be like, I'll I'll move them. Y'all, y'all chill, you know. Like, I got it. Yeah. And so my dad was always like, All right, whatever. It wasn't like, you know what I'm saying? I don't think he even like would go out there and check. He I just that's how I learned. Yeah, you'll be fine. Yeah. And so driving a standard, my cousin who lived with us for a long time. I say a long time, a couple years, right? He had a and a Camaro IROX, like a 1978 freaking badass car. Had the hearse shifter, you know, just headers. I mean, that thing just like roared. And so as a kid, you know, I'm like 12, 13, I love that car. I I love muscle cars, right? I would watch him as we would drive somewhere, you know, shift and like press what what pedals to press. And so I'm sitting there just watching them, you know, because I wanted to learn how to drive this car. And so one day I I grab his keys, right? They're all asleep, and it's Sunday morning, and I grab his keys and I go to the car. With a standard, you either put the brake on or you put it in first gear, right? Like you it has, you know, so it doesn't roll, right? Yeah, and so I I figured out finally how to turn it on. Because you have to press a clutch, I believe, on that car. Like, and so because you have it in a gear, yeah. Yeah, you have to, and so I I turned it on, and nothing just like jumped, like and it scared the crap out of me, right? Because it was just like it was ready to go. And then after that, I would just I would steal the keys from them and I would go out and then I would just like you know, just work, work all the gears, and then finally figured out how to drive one. But it was like one of those things that I I learned by myself, and it was like trial and error. I was like, oh god, that shit didn't work, you know. It's like because I was I was I didn't want to be like, hey, I learned how I want to learn because they'd be like, Don't touch my fucking car. But yeah, it's one of those things that I don't think which is weird because with my kids, like I taught them how to drive. You know what I'm saying? Like I, my daughter, we went through that, and then along with my son. So it's like sometimes I kind of wonder when my dad, because we but he had five kids, so it's kind of one of those things like he taught the first two, or he maybe he had taught my oldest brother, I don't even know. But yeah, it's it's kind of weird how you know kind of generations change.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, but I mean when it comes to it. When it comes to teaching, like my kids, they're they're not there yet. I keep asking my son right now, he's 14. And I keep asking him, like, when do you think you'd be ready? And he's like, not right now.
SPEAKER_00:So something that I noticed with my kids, I mean, my daughter just turned 23, and she started driving probably when she was like 16, 17. They had no inclination to drive. I had to convince her, like, I was like, baby. What are the benefits? Yeah, that's what are the benefits. Like, you don't need anybody.
SPEAKER_02:That's what it feels like right now. It's having it to convince him. Like, not me. All you gotta do is hint, and I'm there. Let's go.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. Like, I wanted a car at 12, 13. You know what I'm saying? Like, I I wanted to drive. Like, you don't you don't have to do anything. Like, I want to know, but with them, I had to come, I had to, you know, here's a pie chart of the of the pluses of owning your own car, you know. It's like, and and with Joaquin, the same thing. My son, I was like, he didn't drive until he was 18.
SPEAKER_04:Like, he was gonna say, I didn't see Joaquin drive until a month ago.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And he he had I'd never even seen him in a driver's seat.
SPEAKER_00:He had nothing, like he had no kind of like, I was like, son, I was like, Do you want to learn how to drive? I mean, I said, I'm not gonna push it to it because insurance goes up. Yeah, right, yeah. I have to get you a car. It costs more money, yeah. It's a lot of money. So I said, I if you don't want to, I was like, cool, done. We'll wait. But when he wanted to, uh, you know, it it was it took a little bit of convincing. Like, son, do you want to wait around for a ride? You know, it's like, do you want to go to the movies and you know, get picked up by your parents, you know, look, you know, kind of like or leave when you want instead of being like, can we go?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So I was I told my daughter the same thing. I was like, you know how you get really mad after the football game, and because you were on the dance team and we're late by 10 minutes and you're pissed off. None of that. You know, after the game, you gotta go back to school, you get in your car, go home, or go eat, or go whatever the hell you want to do. I was like, but it's just it's so different. I don't, I mean, Isaiah's at that age.
SPEAKER_04:Is he well, yeah. I mean, he well, we remember when we interviewed him a week or so ago, and he his first thing was when you asked him what kind of car did he want. I I re I remember him saying, I guess something cheap because I'll probably wreck it or something. They're like, what the hell? But uh, I mean, like, my my son still will default to the back seat of the vehicle. Huh. I mean, he'll he'll he's been sitting within the last I don't know, six months. He started going more sitting in the front seat. Do you let him sit back? I'll be like, boy, you better get your ass up there. I kind of started doing that, but he'll he'll quickly just hop in the backseat.
SPEAKER_02:Well, my my son does it when he thinks he's being slick, right? Because he when he sits in the front seat, he knows I'm gonna tell him get off your phone, pay attention to what direction we're going, all the right, all the things. So he knows the directional part of driving, which is also part of that right of passage, right? So we do that, and there'll be some times where he gets in the backseat, and I'm like, why are you getting in the back seat? And he's like, Ah, no reason. I just want to ride back here. And then he gets on his phone. And I'm like, I know what you're doing. He's like, What's up, baby? Right, look, I'm not I'm not stupid. Okay, fine. I'll let you, I'll let you get that this time.
SPEAKER_04:But um How about I pick you up? Uh how about my dad pick you up and take you take us somewhere to what?
SPEAKER_02:That's gonna maybe that's gonna be the motivation to get him to drive faster.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it yeah, I think that's what I think that's what it's gonna boil down to. And and and I've been I've been already thinking like, okay, yeah, Isaiah turned 15. He hasn't really surfaced it to me. Maybe he has to his mom, but in these next weeks, whenever he's with me, that's one of the things that I was planning to do with him. Is like, okay, let's go to a parking lot, let's just do some basic stuff right now.
SPEAKER_00:Basic stuff. I know something that I did with with my son that I didn't do with my daughter, where we went to the local, there's an elementary school here, and there's a parking lot back there, and there's no car, so I was like, all right, let's go. We're going 10 miles an hour. I said, go to 15, go to 20. I said, now slam the brake. He's like, what? I was like, slam it. And he fucking slammed the brake, and uh, you know, we're in my truck, and that thing's like and stuff starts flying. I was like, Yeah, this is what it's like, dog. I was like just 20 miles an hour, and you slam a brake. Like, you need to be ready for that. Like, you know what I'm saying? I don't want the first time you slam a brake is like in an accident and 50. Yeah, going 50. I was like, this is the this is the momentum. This is it, it's scary. I was like, you know, and so he's like, man, this face was like, oh shit.
SPEAKER_02:This is why I think I'm gonna be the one to teach my kids to draw.
SPEAKER_04:I don't know that my I'm not sure if my wife has the the patience, the patience and the well see that's uh that's why my dad, even though I didn't whenever it came to him teaching me, I don't I don't necessarily recall him like really going through a lot of steps because he he would he would blow a gasket if if you mess up, right? So I even whenever I finally learned I I had I had went or we had went to get me a car. Yeah, I selected a car, I selected a car that was standard, knowing that for already a full year I was driving an automatic vehicle. Yeah, but I wanted this, I wanted this Mustang, so I chose it and it was standard. Yeah. And so the way I ultimately learned how to really hone in on standard was for the the three days that they were gonna tweak it and wash it and and do some stuff to it before they sold it to us. My dad was like, here's the keys to the escort, go to work. And that whole way just by myself in this car, just with getting whiplash the whole way driving through town just to get to work.
SPEAKER_02:And I think I I spend a pretty good amount of time in that because like when it comes to we've we've talked about zipper merging and road rage and all that, like all those things. And and for me, I spend so many trips in the car shaking my head no, right? At some dumbass thing that somebody did in a car ahead of me, right? And then I always talk when the kids are in the car, I talk about the importance of defensive driving, situational awareness, um, how to zipper merge, like all of these things. And so maybe, maybe that's part of the why he doesn't want to learn yet, is because I'm like, I have high expectations here, right? Like when you learn to drive, you better you better do this right. Yeah. Because if you're one of these idiots on the street, I'm gonna be looking at you just like I do them. And you better not be one of these idiots. Maybe that's enough where he's like, I don't know if I want to learn again.
SPEAKER_00:Well, along with driving, you know, and getting your driver's license and all that, and you have just back to the rites of passage, you have just big basic car maintenance, right? That you have to talk to your kids about. Like just even how to how to check the pressure on your tire. Maybe even how to do that. I'll tell a quick story, right? So my daughter calls me and she's she's she's in college, she's coming home, right? And she calls me, she's like, Dad, one of my tires is low. And I said, Okay, stop at the nearest gas station and just you know, whichever one your your sensor says, fill it up with air. And then when you get here, we'll we'll go check it out. She's like, okay. She's like, I stopped by, I filled it up for a long time, but it still says it's low. And I said, okay. Then just keep coming. I said, just keep coming. I said, oh, she was in San Marcos. I was like, you know what? There's a discount tire in San Marcos, just drive there. You're about 20 minutes away. I said, drive there, and just those the the the those those tires are insured. And she's like, okay, she goes, but it's really, really low. I said, okay, if you need to, just stop by and air it again and make sure you do it right. She's like, okay. She goes, I did it. It still says it's low. I was like, shit, okay. And she's like, I'm pulling into a discount tire. I said, okay. She pulls in the discount tire and they check the tire, and it is low. It is low. But the other tire is like a freaking 60 PS. I knew it was coming. I was like, what the hell?
SPEAKER_04:But it's because sometimes their sensors are off. Well, you know what? I I I had a different thing enter my mind. I thought maybe she was just putting the the the the oh without taking the remote valve cover off. And then thinking she's putting air in the tire and it not really no no well.
SPEAKER_02:I guess that's possible. I was thinking she was putting air in the room. Yes.
SPEAKER_00:And so sometimes you have to look at that, right? Yeah. And so if you don't tell your kids that, because sometimes your sensors are off, they need to be reset.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, they can either be off, or even when you rotate your tires, they haven't yet detected that. Yes. Right. So there uh that's something else to learn.
SPEAKER_00:So just basic maintenance for cars, how to change a tire, how to check the oil. Fluid levels. Yeah, check oil, you know, that type of stuff. I know that when my son got his car, I was like, You need you need to stay on top of this. And I hated the fact that I kind of turned into my dad, you know, back to the progressive commercial that I love, you know, how to turn how to not turn into your parent. Yeah, but I did become that kid, you know, or I did become my dad, to where it's like, did you check the oil? You know, it's like, you know, why's your registration expired?
SPEAKER_04:You realize it's been three days since that month passed.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's it's so it and and you know what I'm saying? I don't know why you feel bad about turning into that person, but it's you have to, you know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_02:Well, but the the realization when you get there, it's like whatever brings it out of you, and you're like you're you go into that lecture and you're like, God damn it, just no, yeah. No, no, you you call your dad like, I'm sorry, Dom. Um, you were right, or or you add it on top of there. Damn it, you made me become my dad.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so that's one of the things. Car maintenance. I know I tell my daughter this all the time. I'm like, have you changed the oil? You know what I'm saying? It's been six months since we gave you this car. You know, I was like, have you even thought about it?
SPEAKER_02:But all of those things, and and it's harder now because the the cars have all sorts of like covers all the over the entire engine and all the other stuff. But I think even knowing if you can get past that, how to even knowing how to do that, can I uninstall this cover so that I can change the spark plugs myself, right? Or is this something we're like what the hell's going on here? But I know it needs service, so let me go take it in, right? Absolutely. But these are all things that need to be recognized. And there's some things that I think too, once you have a good understanding of tools, when you start to gauge for yourself, is this something that I can fix? Or if I screw this up, like that's my whole vehicle, so let me take it to some professional level to get that stuff done. But that's another one now is getting into tools, right? We did have that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, like rites of passage, just basic knowledge of tools.
SPEAKER_02:Which seems straightforward. It does. Is there anything difficult about teaching or knowing the basic I mean, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:Let's ask David. David, what's a crescent wrench?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I think you do have to know maybe through visuals and understand what the function of that tool is.
SPEAKER_02:I think that's uh well, at least now it is important. Now this generation has the benefit of like Googling it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. And that I mean, I know there's a YouTube video. This guy kind of similar to that movie that we alluded to at the beginning of the podcast, my life. He created a video with all these things because he didn't have a father growing up. And he's like, I didn't have a father, so I had to learn all this stuff on my own. So I'm creating these videos for people that don't have fathers. Yeah. And so I I thought it was great. Like I I watched a bunch of them, but he he goes through like it, he's just like a dad, right? He's kind of showing you the tools. This is a Phillips screwdriver, you know, this is a flathead, you know, that type of stuff. And I think having a basic knowledge of tools, I know with my son, I had a I had a vehicle that was older, and so I did my own, I changed the oil myself just because it was cheaper. You know, you're paying 30 bucks as opposed to like 60 to 70 or whatever it is. And I would have him come out there and I was like, okay, son, let's get under here. And then we just kind of walked through it and and then I say, here's what you need to look at, and all this and that. And he would help me a lot with that type of stuff. And I think not that I expect him to change his own oil, but if he needed to, he he kind of could configure his way out.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I I and I I think the the bigger lesson beyond that is just to ultimately be willing to to venture in those things, right? Uh not to be intimidated by them.
SPEAKER_00:Right.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Learn how to be handy. Yeah, because I could because at the end of the day, the the way they we change oil today may not look the same way tomorrow. No, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:Like I think when I was growing up, especially we got battery cars. Yeah. Everybody changed their own oil. Like I think all my cousins, you know, my whole family would they would do their own oil changes, they would do their own maintenance, they would, you know, fill up all the levels and the the one and the windshield wipers and the freaking radiator and the radio and the freaking uh, what is it, the master cylinder, they like brakes, they would do their own brake service.
SPEAKER_04:I learned how to do brakes, and the moment I did, the the moment I learned how to change brakes, I was the brake expert at Rodriguez's house. So next thing you know, all four cars were getting up on the ramps, and here I was changing them by myself and getting blood all over my hand because I always manage to at least either cut or that's part of the rite of passage.
SPEAKER_02:All of it. When you're when you're when you're using a knife, right? Like one of the EVC tools. Yes. Uh cutting yourself at some point is part of the rite of passage.
SPEAKER_00:You gotta do it.
SPEAKER_02:Injuring yourself with a tool in some way, shape, or form. Hopefully it's not a big injury.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. Seeing uh seeing David over there with like four fingers and shit.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, well, I mean, because sometimes you learn the hard way about the right and wrong way to hammer.
SPEAKER_00:Yes.
SPEAKER_02:Or drill when the drill goes off, right?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Something like that.
SPEAKER_00:And then, you know, back to the just your basics, right? Using the right tool for the right job, like that type of stuff.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I know that over the past, I don't know, 26 years I've been here in San Antonio, I've accumulated a shitload of tools because you know, you're sitting there doing something, you're like, I don't have the correct tool. Let me make a trip to Home Depot. You know, like, and you go get the next tool.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, or are you the type that sees a tool? Don't necessarily have a use for it, but oh no, I'll buy it. That's cool, done. Yeah, yeah. But I'm the same way. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02:Unfortunately, I will find a reason to use that one, right? I don't think so. I think I think for me, I have a tendency to use the tools I have on hand, and then when something comes up where I'm like, I don't have the tool for that, but let me see if I can figure out a way to use one of the tools I have to do that. And I and it it I pretty much have to fail at all of my ideas, and I'm like, all right, let me go get the damn tool.
SPEAKER_00:No, but but when you have the right tool, I mean it's just it you absolutely it just makes it everything easy.
SPEAKER_02:It does, and you know what? Part of my motivation might just be I don't want to go all the way over there to Home Depot.
SPEAKER_00:I love Home Depot, but I can spend a whole Saturday there. That's why I hate Home Depot because then I'll I'll keep going.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, you know what? I could probably use this. I don't know when, I don't know why. But every time.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So the the other, like back to the rights of passage. We get off topic, but it's alright. So let's we're gonna go through the list that we kind of came up with. Driver's license, we talked about that. Uh EDC, we kind of touched on that. You know, your first your first pocket knife. I know I gave my son a pocket knife.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, make sure, make we we should probably define EDC just because I know it's random, but it's everyday carry. Everyday carry, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and he still carries one, which I I kind of when I see him kind of carries his pocket knife, I'm like, that's cool.
SPEAKER_02:Well, what's okay, what's in the everyday carry though, for you?
SPEAKER_00:Me personally, a shitload of stuff.
SPEAKER_02:Well, you because then you you get it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so with me, I I have a multi tool, 90%. of the time. I have a pocket knife. I have a uh what do you call it? A uh a pen.
SPEAKER_01:But you have a space pen.
SPEAKER_00:I have a space pen, but I also have a it's a tactical pen.
SPEAKER_01:Do you have a Fisher space pen?
SPEAKER_00:I do have a Fisher space pen, but I also have a tactical pen.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, because I use it I use a tactical pen. I alternate between a tactical pen and then one of them that is also a Kuba Tang I think is what it is. It's a self-defense weapon.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. So this this has a point to where you know if you if you shove it on somebody like it it collects DNA.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah yeah but it's a but but it meant to be like a window breaker or something like that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah it it does that and then I always have chapstick you know I have a handkerchief handkerchief and I I think I gave you all for Christmas so y'all better be having that shit too. Yeah mine's in the truck but I don't I don't care around what a handkerchief I don't care around having any of that stuff you didn't no oh you got cigars for Christmas I don't know you can't yeah no you did get cigars but I already have I already have handkerchiefs I can't no this is a this is a fucking badass handkerchief.
SPEAKER_02:I have one though no no no this is different because it's from where what makes it better if you if you were to listen to our podcast for top five chivalry items you would know y'all talk too much what is so we'll move on of course the chapstick I always carry our our fraternity coin yeah yeah yeah that's always on my person although sometimes I do replace that for our fraternity uh torch lighter uh the zippo I I don't carry the lighter on me it's but it's in the truck I do in the truck whenever I know I'm gonna use it if I'm gonna go to you know smoke a cigar or something like that absolutely I'll take the coin out of the lighter in that pocket.
SPEAKER_00:And so with with with my son I I did give him I gave him a multi tool when he was probably like six or seven but it was a multi tool that it was like air air airplane safe like it didn't have sharp object it had a file it had like you know just it was the a leatherman multi-tool but it it was airplane safe you know like you you could carry that thing everywhere it had a little it had like a screwdriver in it or something like that.
SPEAKER_02:You know what made me feel actually pretty good about this now that you're talking about multi-tools because I carry I carry a multi-tool I carry a multi-tool or I carry a pocket knife. Yeah when we were at this last legacy weekend and it happened to be on Father's Day and you were interviewing kids about one of their favorite memories about their dads. Yeah and then if you remember his size he said it was when I gave him his first pocket I do remember that yeah and I was like no he felt that way about it.
SPEAKER_00:Before that he said I said and who's your dad oh the best one here I was like man get show ass up on him with that bullshit dog you see why I don't have like anyway so but yes I do remember I thought I thought that was great I didn't I didn't know that he held it in that regard so that was it was nice to hear I loved hearing that interviewing your kids was probably one of the highlights of of my experience of that day just because when someone else interviews your kids I think they open up a little bit more you know what I'm saying they they or they open up a different a different channel yeah and and those interviews to me were so freaking eye opening even Ray's kid was was really like you know a a little bit more you know you just they I I well I that one one thing I did spring it on kind of like I sprung it up on you on asking you questions but you know when interviewing my son it was different because I was like well it's I'm interviewing you so it's it's it didn't have the same effect so I was I was I didn't think about it I didn't think it through I should have had one of y'all interview him so it wouldn't be awkward or not awkward but just like dad you know it's like why don't I do this it's like no bro just freaking do it but yeah no I remember that and I thought that was cool as hell like having those having those things I think my son always has a pocket knife now he's 18 years old.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah I know when it's uh we were with with my wife's family and they get they got super like oh my god Joaquin well why do you have a knife you know it's like you said that cut this box open you know what I'm saying like you would have it he's he's comfortable with it because he's you know he's used it for four or five years and stuff like that so but they they you know his aunts were like oh my god it's like don't you don't open that so it's just one of those things I think aside aside from you know like wallet phone keys those always get handkerchief I I do carry one carry one all the time I have a pen all the time and then and then I like I said I switch it out it's either a tactical one that has a you know window breaker or it's a self-defense right weapon and then let me see what else is there what else would there be? Chapstick well I carry yeah I mean I have a chapstick in my backpack and I carry my backpack most of the time so there is a chapstick in there and then the multi-tool I either carry depend it depends on where I'm going it's either the multi-tool or it's just a pocket knife but there's always something yeah I've carried both for a long time here recently because we went to a concert and so I had to I had to unpack all my shit.
SPEAKER_00:You know it's like can't you can't carry like a pocket knife you can't carry so I just took all my stuff out of my pockets and put it in a truck and so now it's just in the truck right because I was like well you know I was like I'll just leave it there. So I haven't picked it back up. But for the most part I always have a multi-tool and I always have a pocket knife.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah well and even if I wind up with the pocket knife I I can some sometimes depending on where I'm going I also change out the pen that I carry yeah to not be you know like I have another I guess you could call it tactical pin but it is a level a ruler stylus screwdriver like all of that and then it's just in a single pin.
SPEAKER_00:So so what what that tells me is that we need to give Isaiah a pocket knife.
SPEAKER_04:Well I don't carry I don't carry anything I got my my phone a minimalist wallet that's attached to the phone or that has a mag safe attachment yeah and then my keys to the truck and my AirPods. Yeah see AirPods is another one that I thought about carrying because you know it's always nice to have and I do I have it's in my it's in my gym bag now because when I go to the gym it sucks when I don't have them because well it the to me or for me beyond listening to music or whatever like things like that but when when you're talking to somebody on the phone it's superior. It's a better sound you can you can walk along they hear you better you hear them better so that's that's that's more so why I carry it.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah well but I don't I I've never done well with the you know like the the tiny earbuds yeah shoving it in your ear well they always for me like if I'm working out or doing anything they always seem to fall out so they just I I don't really yeah well you know you can change the tips on right it just doesn't I for whatever reason I've always had problems with them. So instead I use aftershocks oh aftershocks which are bone conduction and because I get the sound but they also don't block my ear so I get to hear everything happening around yeah and that's big for me. I don't know if that's a control issue.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah or whatever I think if I think for people it it's a little bit of everything.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah but you know especially since I had like since having kids I'm like nah I gotta I gotta be able to hear everything. So I can't be fully immersed in sound. I have to be able to hear what's going on around me.
SPEAKER_04:I I I know I know for me though I I've never really gotten into knives I own some knives I have them sitting around the house I got one in my truck that that Dan had gave me at at one point and I I I use them but to carry one around I I'm I'm the type I don't like having a lot of stuff in my pockets especially if I'm doing something like playing golf. I've been playing a lot of disc golf uh lately too and I don't like to have stuff in my pocket. I just feel like something's weighing me down and I don't want to get a then get a carrier that goes on your belt. No that that then I look like some weirdo freaking well I don't even want to say it but oh man I don't want to look like that like you are a weirdo too late like the people that have the phone the phone case that sticks out and it clips on I'm not I'm not that kind of guy back in there no not me. If mine didn't fit in the pocket it what it wouldn't go in.
SPEAKER_02:I I do I do wish we'd go back to the smaller phone you know yeah I mean I don't I I think I I find and then if there's ever a time I if something comes up and I probably not once it would have to come up more than once but if there's a situation where I'm like oh man I don't have that with me then I would get whatever it is that I need to get in order to have what I need to have but that just doesn't come up because I carry shit in my pockets all the time.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I mean it it does suck sometimes because you carry so I carry all kinds of shit.
SPEAKER_02:But over time especially I mean it costs more money when you do it but if you streamline the tools right there are some that they start making them smaller and you know more compact or whatever but or just get a fanny pack man just that's probably not gonna be me I'm not a they're called bando bags now are they? Yeah if you were to listen to a top I'm not gonna do it I'm not gonna do it I don't I don't I'm not a fanny pack person and as much as you strike me as one though as much as he does he's a he's a fanny pack guy no I wear I carry a backpack. I know and you everywhere you wear it as a belt I can't like because everywhere though everywhere almost almost everywhere I have a backpack almost everywhere that's crazy. All right Dora but you know what I think it's I think I mean like when when we went to the center club I didn't have a backpack but I had all my things in my pockets right like the things that I'm gonna carry.
SPEAKER_00:So it's not everywhere I go but I think because I'm like a random Saturday you and the kids go to freaking a restaurant to eat.
SPEAKER_02:You have a backpack with you no I have all the things in my pockets okay I don't need all the extra stuff. I just carry my EDC things. Yeah right but like most most days when I'm trap you know like going from work and then coming over here I have my backpack. I would and I have extra things that are in there. So even though I carry a pocket knife or multi-tool or whatever I have another pocket knife in my bag. Yeah I have my chapstick in my bag I have all my beard stuff in my bag I carry your beard your beard stuff? Beard yeah like so so that I have more beard that's crazy feminine products.
SPEAKER_00:All of those things all of those things okay which gets us back to the list of rites of passage shaving how did you learn how to shave like did you somebody teach you how to shave I honestly can't remember I don't I don't believe anybody taught me how to shave which is why I think I have errant beard lines and then I have to be particular in how I shave that now really yeah because no and no one taught me about shaving I just did.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah well you but you have a full beard so it's a little I do now but it's not like it's you know but like when you get some people that have well manicured beards where their hair will not grow beyond the the beard line mine isn't like that mine will grow up here so I have to particularly yeah shave it and shape it.
SPEAKER_00:Why though just let it all grow nah because then it would be because then up here at the top because it covers more of your face it would be more it would be uneven because you ugly mother it just wouldn't it wouldn't look right so I say that because my son when he got probably like 14 or 15 and not that he's able to grow a beard at this point but he he actually was like can you can you show him how to shave I was like done cool so we bust out all the stuff you know like that that what is it called that beard bomb or whatever that not the beard bomb but the stuff that you mix up and it gets all foamy and then you know shaving cream no well no shaving cream shaving cream is one of them but this is this is like why's everyone got it why's everything gotta be fancy it's not fancy it's not fancy take some freaking no it's not a shaving gel shaving lotion no it's not shaving lotion you are talking about something that you mix with a brush in order for it to lather yeah that's yeah that's shaving cream I mean it's bougie all that no I just use soap he got on his upper echelon yeah you just freaking rub soap on your nose when you're gonna shave and then shave I don't even use that I use water all I have to do is wet my cheek and then shave and nobody wants to know about your cheek but then afterwards I rub beard oil on it and then it moisturizes.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah so anyway you mix this stuff up and then it becomes super lathery and then you put that on your face and then you shave that's shaving cream it's but shaving cream is different shaving cream comes in a can no but you can also self-lather you can yes it's your base that you put in a bowl and you mix it around and it turns out I guess it is shaving cream cream yeah so anyway we did that that took longer than it needed to because y'all motherfuckers let's let's go to the more not the controversial one but the more serious one that you gotta have for rites of passage which is the birds and bees the birds and the bees right have y'all had the talk with your kid yes okay you did no no god damn my motherfuckers like 18 dog what the fuck because I'm going off of the way I was brought up no don't do that.
SPEAKER_00:No we just didn't have it we don't have it you gotta get on it right don't do that we just didn't have it don't do that you gotta get on it right now so you know I think with with my son well we did with my daughter too right but with my son because because that's more recent like we had to talk with him when he was probably like 15 or so and then I was telling y'all I was telling my brother last night I was like I had to recap that shit because he just went off to college I was like let's just recap the shit real quick you know be careful you know what I'm saying rule number one is like don't get no one pregnant it's like don't do that shit like and you know to my son's credit he was like dud that's not that's not in the cars for me uh you know I'm focused on what I need to do but I was like okay cool but like but we all have lapses focus son I was like you're about to go to college and you're about to go to you know like Texas AM where it's like a bunch of Sydney Sweeney's and Margot Robbie's as my brother says are out there like they're all there all the the you can tell me all you want.
SPEAKER_02:Yes I'm focused until you're not but when you get there your focus is gonna shift but we we you know like for my son we we have had this he's he's 14 now we started some of this conversation with him as soon as he showed any interest in girls. Yes right because he was before you know like when they're in the ew girl stage like there's I don't know that yeah they're not showering and shit you're like bro you need a shower yeah and then and then it's just more about how to treat people right this is how you treat people this is how you know like all of that stuff and and shower so that you're not you know putting everybody else the stinky kid but now that he you know shows an interest then we started having the the discussions with him so this was like last year right 13 13 we started having this conversation with him and at at 14 right now every time we get anywhere near here he's like all right I'm out and I'm like no you're not you're gonna sit right here and you're gonna listen to it and I'm like this is the easy part right because as soon as he turns I'm assuming once he gets around maybe next year 15 or whatever yeah it's gonna be more of like safe sex how do you you know like take precautions how do you even put on a condom like all we did all that yeah all the stuff that's gonna have to be in you did that or your your dad with we're talking about your kids my kid no my dad we that was not even talked about no yeah that was avoided I've never discussed anything about that so why why why did we put that as a rite of passage because it is well i i I agree but at the same time it's kind of like well because most because some people did you say no on yours too yeah they didn't they don't the thing is they don't give you the birds and the bees talk or to them the birds and the bees talk is you better not get anybody pregnant, right?
SPEAKER_04:And they give you all the warnings and the and the potential ass whoopings that are coming at you but they don't tell you the how or the why or yeah well like I I the the closest thing that I can recall was my dad saying you want to have insurance before you have a kid insurance insurance what do you mean insurance like health insurance really yeah really oh my god that's no and and there's a real reason why we heard birds and bees tell right no there's there's a sad reason why it's and it's because my my dad basically so I should have an older brother and he passed away when he was two days old and my dad feels that the reason that he didn't live is because they didn't have money they didn't have money to to to I just my buzz is gone I know but yeah I I mean but that that that's the closest thing I just remember and it was uh we're driving somewhere and he just ultimately said it almost out of the blue just like yeah yeah you you want to have health insurance before you have my mom had something similar not not that macabre but my mom's thing was like you need to be able to support yourself before you support someone else and that means that like don't do that.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah and I think that's kind of the gist of what my dad was saying goddamn like I now I'm questioning my life decisions and shit well you know because my I have a or like my kids they there's a family member who had kids very young and I think when you know like my parents my mom had us really young too but yeah but my kids now know someone directly right from a family that is that had kids really young and then they see the limits that is placed on her right and so when it comes to that those are some of the things too where it's like the motivator for like we're not just telling you this stuff because we're trying to give you like at no point in time are we doing this because we want to give you a hard time. We're trying to teach you how to you know uh get through your life in the best way possible. Yeah. Right. And when you're gonna have kids it should ideally be purposeful. You shouldn't manufacture obstacles right like so anyway we had we had to you know talk about some of that stuff right now because he is showing that interest and then of course when that time comes and I was like you better you better get used to it now because all the times we're putting on a condom and all that like that stuff's coming. It's good it's in your kids.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah I know that when my son would have girlfriends and stuff out over at the house and we would have that talk to him you know because they would come up upstairs we have a two story shot so they'd come upstairs and we're like okay son respect this house and it's like don't be doing anything stupid. And then I know that here last like shit like four months ago three four months ago we weren't home my wife and I were out and Joaquin had come home and knew that we weren't home and so he calls us like hey when when are y'all gonna be here and all this and that I was like we're about you know about an hour away and stuff.
SPEAKER_02:He's like okay and then so we're like what is he asking and I was like oh shit he's at home you know and so we let he call him he's like hey respect our house you know and uh and she goes he's like mom we're in the driveway like I have not stepped it step foot in the house you reminded me you guys got a door camera and stuff like that we got a door camera because that that's that's that's one thing that you know back in the day a lot of that stuff I mean you could keep it hidden right oh yeah absolutely whereas today yeah there's always no no no there's ways to track your kid there's you know who's coming through the door yeah yeah they gotta be pretty stealthy otherwise no absolutely and and and so they they stayed in the in the driveway you know it's like 4 p.m in the driveway I was like you've been in the driveway for 30 minutes like yeah I was like we didn't want to step in the house I was like we were we're trying to disrespect you out here um so now now that we've we've talked that was the big one yeah that was the big one what do what are we missing that maybe maybe doesn't need a whole lot of attention but that would still be on the list of rites of passage so basically survival knowledge maps written learning how to read a map that type of stuff well driving we talked a lot about driving right but but knowing how to get through driving using your sense of direction and how to read a paper map as opposed to always relying on your phone I think that's a very important part of knowing where you are how to get where you're going yeah even when everything else is failing you well what one of the things that Hyman brought it up in terms of the when he was referencing the movie but teaching teaching them how to dress for the occasion.
SPEAKER_00:Yes that type of stuff yeah getting dressed I know that it was a big deal when when we bought my son his first suit that type of stuff how to tie a tie yeah that's a big one how to tie a tie I mean my grandfather taught me how to tie a tie I remember teaching Joaquin and it's it's kind of it is a big deal and like and we I don't think we're trying to minimize it but I don't think we we hype it up we hype it up as much as we should like this is I mean you need to wear a suit sometimes.
SPEAKER_02:Yes and you know some of those times even if it's not comfortable to you get your ass in a suit because the occasion requires it.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely what's the other one I know we talked about oh we were talking about reading the map right and I had a really quick story. So my son went off to college this year like he we he left for college a couple of weeks ago and you know we're parents we have Apple phones and so you can track your kid like you know where he's going we tracked his car we track him and I didn't really sit down with him and give him the route to college station right I didn't say you take 35 you know you get off on 21 so anyway I'm at work because he left on a Thursday and and so we're like go up there and then we'll go up there Friday. So he drove up there by himself in his car and I'm tracking him right I'm looking at my phone and he's going up 35 just like he should is right by San Marcos 21 is right there. He misses that exit right and he's continually going north and I'm like okay I'm not gonna freak out I'm not gonna call him he's probably stressed he probably knows he missed his exit I'm not gonna call him you know what I'm saying and so he's going to he's in Kyle he passes Buddha like and I'm like where the fuck is this kid going? So finally he hits uh the toll road in Austin and then he hits a he hits a right then he starts heading towards college station but I was like man I don't want to be the helicopter parent like he's gotta learn yeah shit like this is gonna happen but then I was thinking about my experience like I read uh I had a paper map and I highlighted you know what I'm saying like my route your route yeah from Dallas to college station like 45 to Madisonville then you hang a right and and he's got his phone right there like the phone is telling him turn right turn I can even talk to you yeah yeah because I remember using I remember back in the day using an Atlas you know and you could a map scope you know I remember you could go to the the tourist bureau or the tourist the travel centers and get a map for free. Yes I remember exactly so there there's the map that that unfolds really big and then I was I think I told the story before that you know when I was college I had that big map and then and then there was one that was laminated that folded up really well you know that blew up the big cities but you know I had a really hopeful one it was in Atlas I think that covered all 50 states what the hell like knowing damn well I ain't gonna go to I travel with my globe with me.
SPEAKER_03:What what are you doing with a Hawaii map?
SPEAKER_00:I'm not I'm not going to 49 of these okay so the other one was I think we talked about drinking socially yeah drinking the first drink.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah but yeah drinking is is big I don't know necessarily about the first drink but they but I I do think that covering drinking maybe not to the same degree as birds and bees but I think it's really important right because drinking socially is something that can be done but it can also be taken too far really quick. Right and and what what do those signs look like when you should slow it down and stop um so we go recently we go to college station we are moving my son in and it's my daughter's birthday about the same time so we all go to Northgate which is the place to go to in college station there's all these bars so we go to this bar one of the oldest bars there it was there when I was there which is like fucking 30 years ago the chicken.
SPEAKER_00:And so we're there and of course my son is 18 and you know my wife is like let's go let's go get some shots and my daughter's like let's get four shots you know like whatever and I and I'm sitting there going so your your brother's 18 like what the hell I mean aren't we I think somebody's gonna say something my my daughter looks at me and is like who's gonna say anything she looks around and is like nobody cares and I was like what the hell I was like I fucking let's go get some shots so I think with with with my daughter when she went off to college you know I was like you're gonna start drinking like we know we know you're gonna do that let's do it here in a safe space in a controlled safe environment yeah you're 18 19 you know 20 that that that age so Joaquin I don't know if he's drank before I assume that maybe he's dabble I don't know he's very you know he's into working out he's in the so he knows that that's not good for his body is something so I but I don't know what he's done like I'm not all in this business but at this that night he took like four shots over the whole night and handled it well and he handled it well like so he's drank before there you go yeah so I was like okay he's yeah so that's the first thing I thought I was like what the fuck like yeah you know so it's it's just one of those things like hey you're getting at that age like I need you to be okay with doing this because I uh I've told this story before like I was 30 years old and I was still trying to hide my beard when my parents came into my house yeah I I don't drink in front of my parents and and they've never seen me drink at one point I was like that I was like this is my motherfucking house like I'm 35 years old got two kids like you won't see me drink I damn so I I mean I do but when I when I drink in front of them too and my mom usually says like but you're driving and I'm like well I'm not here to get drunk I'm just having a drink like you know like that sort of stuff but I I think it's important to I you gotta have conversations with the kids about alcohol yeah um and you know how to be responsible with that I think that definitely goes with part of it all yeah but time to round it out all right so what would be our board approved if it's rights of passage yeah you know what I I feel I feel kind of compelled for anybody who is listening because this is by no means an exhaustive list right I think that some of these things are certainly points that should be touched on with our boys because that's what we're talking about right kids in general yes but we're talking about boys in this one.
SPEAKER_02:So yes all of these I I think that these are all important points that should be touched on. But if there's anything that any listener has out there that you want to comment on you know send that comment to us absolutely but whatever it is maybe the board approved is to as the father consider your rites of passage yeah what they should be and go through them now if you haven't already started.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely create your own list as a father if you have a son create your own list and actually go through it. I mean there's this stuff is is by no means you know the be all and all list but we had I think we touched on most of the important things. So go through it and and do it now. Like I don't care how old your kid is
SPEAKER_02:I mean they they need to they need to know that that my kid's six months old Well I mean start when it's age appropriate but also even if you don't at the moment have your kids but you have a you know a blood sibling who does absolutely one of your brothers has kids or you know whatever it is find a way to maybe talk to your brother about that and get involved in a way you can or even your brother-in-law that's or brother-in-law yes if they have kids however however it is but uh but get out there and create chivalrous men. That's right.
SPEAKER_03:There we go. Board approved we can approve that.
SPEAKER_04:Damn, that's what I heard.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast, please share it with others, post about it on your social media, andor leave a rating and review. To catch all the latest from us, you can follow us on Instagram and X. So thanks again, and we'll see you next time.
